Inescapable Depression

We have been talking about mental health. I am personally shocked by Cheslie Kryst’s suicide – I mean she was perfect in our eyes, right?! Or maybe not so much…I did a free “Happiness” course early last year, in a nutshell we were taught that money, being thin, material things etc don’t necessarily make us happy. It’s other, believe it or not, very small and simple things.

Her mom describes Cheslie as someone who had “high functioning depression”…what is that I thought? I went back to a memory where my brother was admitted into a mental institution, and the doctors asked if there was a history of mental illness in our family, so I looked at my mom, and she blurted out “HA SE NNA, HA SE NNA!!”, looking seriously guilty, I laughed on the inside. And then she continued and said she thought it (bohlanya) was from my dad’s side of the family, and asked if I remembered a crazy aunt from Makhalaneng who said she doesn’t have to wear skirts that go beneath her knees because she wasn’t married. She laughed, we laughed.

Growing up in a family of people who are mentally ill (myself included), can be fun. We spent most of the time laughing at ourselves, I swear, anytime anyone did anything “crazy”, we laughed it off. We even convinced ourselves that there is nothing wrong with us, corruption, greed et al from our leaders, and they acting like its normal. We live in a society where grown men sleep with children. To us, those were the crazy people. The people around us seemed to be doing way more than us – I agree, still, I have my moments and don’t have a lot of friends because I have trust issues. I have my demons and illusions, I have my share of bad decisions, but I haven’t killed anyone, I don’t rape children, I don’t steal and have a few other commandments checked. So, to me, I’m good. I do go to therapy to deal with deep rooted issues, but all in all, I still maintain that the people we call crazy, are not, they are just different. And normally when we don’t know or understand something, we rule it off as wrong.

There is nothing wrong with the world, or people who check out early. This world can drive people crazy, if I imagine Cheslie’s case, a beautiful, intelligent lady, who was probably asked to do things that didn’t match her values in order to survive. Maybe she thought she was in too deep. I have friends who are models, and they have described the life ~ what it takes to look like that, the lines they have to sniff to curb their appetite, the tricks they have to turn to get favors. To what end, she probably thought, and decided to end this life, and try again, in a different world.

I have no idea what she went through, but I do know what it feels like to have suicidal thoughts. Perhaps I am still here because I reached out to someone who helped me see through the day, and to find meaning in that shallow pain.

May this post inspire you to get the help that you may need. Perhaps you can reach out to someone who is always strong!


#depression #suicide #mentalhealth #craecrae #disability


Published by BlockHead

A Human Resources Practitioner with a blended knowledge of HR; Diversity, Equity & Inclusion and Talent Acquisition Management as well as Employer Branding and Employee Value Proposition. Enthusiastic and outgoing, an innovator who is continuously aware of new possibilities with a penchant for discovering different but effective ways of doing things. I gain motivation from the ability to not only generate but implement ideas. A visionary with a positive mindset which often carries others with me. Forever interested in seeing the possibilities, particularly in people, within and beyond the present moment. My key strengths lie in consulting with business to understand how HR activities can contribute to business strategy execution. Passionate about the digital landscape and have successfully implemented Digital Talent Acquisition Strategies for various organisations. I totally believe that healthy organisation culture is a competitive game changer, and strive to help shape companies to attract and retain the best people to meet their mission and grow their vision. As an experienced Talent Acquisition Manager with a documented history of working in HR across various industries in South Africa, as well as other countries on the African continent including Kenya and Nigeria, I know that Africa has incredible talent, and I am excited to play a role in unleashing the best in people across the corporate world. Simply put...I love what I do! In my spare time, I am an avid participant in various activities hosted by the Society of Human Resources Management (SHRM), and a regular contributor to their Blog including taking part in their weekly “Next Chat” on twitter. This is a global platform hosted by SHRM that has people from all facets of HR sharing ideas, knowledge and learning on the specific topic chosen for the week. This June, I will be speaking at the annual conference #SHRM19 which is being held in Las Vegas.

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